its miserable at best part 3

today nothing much..won yesterday game against Catholic High 9-5.i played badly.one word described me best 'dirty'.elbow,pushing,holding opponent stick,staring at them,i was lucky to go home in one piece.scored two goals but was'nt happy with how i played.the magic just won't worked,and my stick was like a body without her soul..she was dead,gone..away with you.i need it back,my strenghtmy confidence and most importantly my love.today.straight away went to bed after school and sleep.dream about you..2nd time..dreamt that you finally understand me...and forgive me...we were crying,crashing onto each other arms.hold you tight,even though you ask me to let go,i say no.is this a good sign emira?i hope so,i say to myself.im still hoping,still not gonna give up..im so tired...think gonna fall sick any moment..but im strong,strong like a big fat sun..i still remember this,'big fat sun'.its great memory,im telling you..not sure if i could continue going for 2.4km tomorrow...i feel so weak,but i don't have much choice.gonna imagined that you will at the starting point,supporting me..to boost my morale..my pathetic morale..i really hope for us to meet one day emira..even if it's just as a friend..but i just want us to be more than a friend...my actions speak how bad my responsibility is...i just want to understand you deeper.that was my intention..but you just make me feel as if i'm your enemy...it feel's like dying emira..when you see the person you loved most don't even regard you as a friend.i'm not sure how long it takes..but it was fun chatting with you at msn for the fourth time...wished you had slap me at the bus stop..so that i always felt guilty...thats all i have to say today...its miserable at best [3rd part]...and still counting.

its miserable at best part 2

woke up.i cant sleep..9am rite now..i never woke up so early on weekends that often.i missed her..but at the same time she is trying to moved on,and i'll move along.i'm waiting..for later game,playing against Catholic High.our next match in div 4.gonna wear the captain armband today,gonna lead the young team to victory...but there's no point cant't you see?i'm already losing,every single memories we had together.your lauhgter,your smiles and i remembered when you massage my arms after the match...i stink,you told me..keep calling me 'smelly boy'.ypu are my 'smelly gal',always...then i went to the toilet cause you ask me to bath..but all the cubicle there's only toilet bowl!i can't just put my head in and flushed it right?So i just washed my head at the sink,put on some perfume,and you were still scared of me...scared that i'll turn into smelly boy.but,i was'nt stink anymore so you let me hug you.hugging you after a game its the best thing to do...then my head was in a mess...earlier on i washed it but didnt comb it.you actually cared enough to took out the comb from your bag and help me to comb my hair...do you know that,that is the first time in a long time since i last comb my hair?you comb my hair,you cared for me.i wanna hold your hands again...we'll sweat,cause i have sweaty palm...hand will be smelly,her goes the story of a smelly boy and smelly girl...then,when i send you home,when we are alone in the mrt,i hold you in my arms..was like hugging a pillow..my smelly pillow.then i can't stop kissing you.its like i was so addicted to your lips and you asked me why i kissed you so many time?and i say,'hmm,good question*kiss*...let me think*kiss*...do i need a reason to kiss you*kiss?*'your lips was like a drug,my own drug..kept me alived everytime i don't feel like living..my lips are turning dried,emira..i missed you..my smelly gal..i'll never ever forget this memories,the mrt kissing memories,cause thats the point when im actually showing how much i love you.but..it wasnt enough..i wont't give up emira..everyone else asked me to give but hell no i wont..it's a deep one huh?the wound in your heart..remember when i post something in facebook:when your heart is broken,it'll always be heartbroken?you told me i was wrong..proved it to me emira..i still don't believe you dont love me anymore..i'll wait.that's all i gotta say.i'll wait.

its miserable at best

finally...get the chance to blog again...but everthing is too late.Lose something precious recently.I lose her.My first love.Was my fault,i know she hate me to the core...i hate myself too for what i've done.i know it's too late but here goes the story of true experience from my life.my pathetic life..we quarrel most of the time.i can sensed that she was tired..i don't want to hurt her any further..i thought that by going our separate way,things will get better.but i was wrong.i never give damn about her,i never spared her feeling.i was selfish huh?then i told her i was wrong,lets start thing afresh but i know that she won't forgive me and will always hate me to the core.it's too late she told me and the most saddest part is when she told me she was so dissapointed of me.3 days ago, i met her.tried to explain things,hug her try not to let go,but she kept pushing me and say 'go away afiq,go away'.heartbroken,i let her go and watch her back facing me as she walk further and further.today her msn is online.try to explan things but i failed again..i beg.first time in my life...i beg.beg her to say something even if she wanna curse me,juz anything.kept quiet,all the time.2 nights ago,i chat with her at msn...right,your prediction is right.she ignore me.kept talking to myself for 2 hrs,she must have felt annoyed by me she signout without saying anything.look,i'm sorry ok.i even beg you,can't you see how sincere i am?so u wanna see me miserable at all time right??well,all i can say is your wish is granted.i'll wait emira.as long you are still single i don't believe i don't stand a chance.i'll wait.i promise you that you are my one and only right??i wont backed out.im sorry.

Helps Needed

Hehehehe.I`m going crazy that`s what my friend told me.I`m sick of life just waiting for my time to expired(when N result is out).I was bored yesterday night about 2 in the morning and suddenly i was motivated to create this poem:

The world split into two parts.
The rich and the poverty.
Just like a broken heart.
Separated,it always be.

All i see now is macdonald and kfc.
But kids lived in the affected area of the earthquake in Indonesia has nothing to eat.
I was blinded,i didnt see.
And i was greedy and i cant help it.

10,20 or 30 dollars.
we spent it on buying gifts and stuff.
I bought this shirt that had this retard collar.
For your information,the cost of each shirt you bought can feed a couple of children that is starved.

This is the end of a short story.
Hope you woke up,not from your bed but to your sense.
There is no need to feel pity.
Just go out there,we all believe in it.

I dont know why i thought that my life has no colour in it.I cant blame my parents for their failure,right??Is not having a father is also considered a bad thing?Boy,i never want to be like my father.I wish he was never exist.Is this retribution?

Sometimes i ask myself,why God always give me test that i cant even handle...Why cant God just take my life away,so that all troubles are saved...Dont think that i`m stress ok,i`m just saying whats on my mind.I feel so sinned and alone sometimes...i always want to have a Dad so that i can always share my problem in relationship and i can always share my joy when i won something.Just to tell you something humorous,the last time that jackass bought me a present was when i was 10.It was beyblade.

Life after 'N' Level

'N' Level is over.Finally....

Hey for your information,i`m working every Monday and Thursday.So dont ask me out on this days.Not a hard job though,not a easy one too.Just have to sort out books and large map and earn $6 per hour.I kinda missed everyone,my friends,my teachers,Mdm Vicki and the auntie at the drink stall.Everyone is so buzy with jobs that we don`t meet that often.What going to happened to us in 10 years time?Also,I`m dying to play floorball again....So i begging you,whoever or whatever to organise friendly for Merahans Floorball Team.

Do you want to know about my Finland or 'Suomi' Trip experience?It was a great camp and i really want to thank Mr Sekaran for this.Lets cut it short,the first day of the tournament,i scored 4 goals in 2 matches.But in the second day, i was too sad for a personal reason and resulting me to failed to scored any goal in 2 matches....I thought i lose something precious,but i was wrong.The precious stuff was so close to me and i dont realised it.But everything is alittle bit too late right now.

So im really sorry for not updating my blog.Nowadays im really buzy and my laptop is still spoilt.Do you know that when people change,the world change too???If the world change,do you think is it still important for us to look at the past??Well i dont think so.....Thats all for today.Im here,at the school library at 1.40 pm with Mdm Vicki.She's a great peron,you know?

My Last Lecture

When i say-My last lecture,it is not as though i`m dying.What i am trying to tell you is my last lecture before i went off to bed.Everybody keep bugging me to update so here i am,i`m all yours.Life getting more bored and weird people keep existing.What do they really want????Here is the topic i am going to share with you.

The World Is Not Fair

Listen up here,most of the people in this world you can`t be trusted.I hate the all the people including Mrs Oh.Seeing people with attitude problem is just killing me deep inside.Why can`t a girl act as a girl??Don`t ask me dude,ask somebody,something or anything who lives up there high in the skies.Men in this planet are getting worst.You never know when your time in this world is finished.A lot of my friends asked me why am i still leading a singled life,and i told them this:If i can`t take care of my own life,can i take care of the person i love most???I don`t know why people like us exist.What is the purposed???

Skip to the next point.Who is your friend???Your friend is the one who always had a eye contact with you when you are talking or not.A friend is a person who dared to changed himself into a better person just for you.Remember this phrase"Easy come,easy go".Your friend will never leave you when you had a problem and that is a fact.

Next,it is something related to sports.I once watched a movie and i really love this sentences-"We win,we praise it.We lose,we praise it".It means,you must always look on a bright sight or else you will never succeed in the coming future.If you having a match,try to think of the future not the past,e.g. i scored 10 goals yesterday.Imagine the place you are playing,imagine the exact opponent you will be playing against and imagine what you going to do next to avoid doing the same mistake that you had always been doing for the past few games.Remember,always do some breathing exercise before you warm-up.And one more thing,don`t play PSP before a match.Trust me or you`ll regret it.

I`m not trying to nag but i really hope you guys and girls read every single word of this blog because it is a real tips from my life experienced.I am sorry if i hurt anybody in this blog.I swear to you this will be mylast lecture.May you succeed in LIFE,and may god be with you,protecting you.


About my latest blog,please leave a message about what you think of.Thank you i appreciate it.

Love is BLIND

First let me congrats Branson and Xu Ying.Perfect couple,devastating news.One is a prefect the other is a fat pork who everyday eat KFC.Can't be blame cause i did make the same mistake except that mine is more pretty than his.Girls can't be trusted nowadays.Some ponteng class while others don't trust each other.Back to Branson devastated news,what should i do when i heard this news????Spread larh!!!Afterall,all the fat pork must be proud of their leader marh!Heheheheheheheheeh.I can't imagine how they going to cope with each other.Now then i now what it means when people say-Love Is BLIND.It means living with another person for the rest of his life regardless of her looks and shapes.Character play a important role in this part.For all the folks and folkers,please bring your red packet on this Wednesday.Let me tell you this Branson,some of the italian people already knew about your love affair cause i'm the one who spread it to Jin Sui.By the way,last Saturday,our floorball team beaten Pasirians Alumni 7-5.I scored 2 goals and i feel proud of myself.Tomorrow will be playing against Northbrook A.Hope to score 2 goals again and win this match so that we can qualified for second round.I'm already feeling victorious.

My goal tally:14