its miserable at best

finally...get the chance to blog again...but everthing is too late.Lose something precious recently.I lose her.My first love.Was my fault,i know she hate me to the core...i hate myself too for what i've done.i know it's too late but here goes the story of true experience from my life.my pathetic life..we quarrel most of the time.i can sensed that she was tired..i don't want to hurt her any further..i thought that by going our separate way,things will get better.but i was wrong.i never give damn about her,i never spared her feeling.i was selfish huh?then i told her i was wrong,lets start thing afresh but i know that she won't forgive me and will always hate me to the core.it's too late she told me and the most saddest part is when she told me she was so dissapointed of me.3 days ago, i met her.tried to explain things,hug her try not to let go,but she kept pushing me and say 'go away afiq,go away'.heartbroken,i let her go and watch her back facing me as she walk further and further.today her msn is online.try to explan things but i failed again..i beg.first time in my life...i beg.beg her to say something even if she wanna curse me,juz anything.kept quiet,all the time.2 nights ago,i chat with her at msn...right,your prediction is right.she ignore me.kept talking to myself for 2 hrs,she must have felt annoyed by me she signout without saying anything.look,i'm sorry ok.i even beg you,can't you see how sincere i am?so u wanna see me miserable at all time right??well,all i can say is your wish is granted.i'll wait emira.as long you are still single i don't believe i don't stand a chance.i'll wait.i promise you that you are my one and only right??i wont backed out.im sorry.